Many of you will know how hard I am finding it to leave the house at the moment. It is very difficult to acclimatise and know where one 'fits in' after witnessing such suffering and sadness. I want to strive to be a better person, not only building the Charity, but to allow Jesse and Flynn to lead a happy life. In so many ways I have come a long way since Skye died, but in others I am still processing everything that happened to him and miss him more now than ever before. I am fragile, lost and numb. My heart has been broken into so many pieces that it will take a very long time to be able to 'feel' again. At the moment, I am 'going through the motions' of life and that will just have to do for now.

I feel very proud of myself for having plucked up the courage to go and see my friends at the Oxford Operatic Gala this weekend. This is the first non Charity, social event I have been to without having a panic attack. I have been so utterly touched by the warmth, generosity and unwavering love these amazing people have demonstrated towards myself and my family over the years and feel extremely lucky to have such deeply caring (and talented) friends. You may all be a bunch of 'lovies', but when the chips are down, you are like a family, "Who could ask for anything more"?

The Gala was incredible and I had to record your last song as it moved me to tears. Never a truer word said (or sung). Thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to be there for all of us. 

Hope you will enjoy some of these memories we have shared together. I miss you!

(If you are reading this from the family blog email - there is a video to accompany this post. Click Read in browser below.)

We promised a happy post and here it is. Yesterday proved, once again, to be an incredibly emotional day, but one that filled us all with a great deal of pride as we witnessed the unveiling of the newest addition to the Abingdon School Boat Club's fleet. When we were first contacted to say that the boys had decided to name the new boat after Skye, it was slightly overwhelming. Just a week before Skye's diagnosis, he and I had made a trip down to the Boat House to watch the boys training. He loved being on the water and to be able to follow the boys up and down the Thames on a launch brought him a great deal of joy. Back in 2012, we had also attended the Henley Royal Regatta Finals day together as a family to watch the Abingdon crew win the Princess Elizabeth Challenge Cup for the 2nd year running. Skye was on the bank chanting ABINGDON! It made him feel so proud to be part of the celebrations.

Captain of Boats, Tom Digby, spoke about Skye and how he had inspired the boys throughout his illness and about their desire to remember and honour him. The Abingdon School Boat Club flag was then drawn back to reveal Skye's name and before the boys took it out onto the Thames, it was dowsed in the obligatory Champagne.

I managed to hold my emotions in check (just), to thank the boys for their kindness, and that we as a family felt so humbled, grateful and privileged that Skye had been honoured in this way.

Skye loved singing his favourite songs before bed. It is always a treasured time for any parent.

Tonight, please kiss your children like it could be the last time you ever get to do it and you will have a glimpse into the world we live in every day.  You will be enriched and your child will feel loved.

Jesse, Mummy and Daddy miss you so much Skye - bedtime will never be the same without you.

"I Feel lonely without Skye in my bedroom. I want to make a doll of Skye so we can take it in turns to take him to bed with us." 

Jesse (4years)