The Last Goodnight Kiss

Exactly a year ago today, we had no idea that this would be the the last time Skye would be downstairs with the family. Being fed chocolate brownie mix by his brother, it was to be his last meal, last bedtime story and last kiss goodnight. Skye died a year ago tomorrow but it feels like yesterday. His voice resinates wherever we go and the realisation that he only had hours to live is something I haven't even been able to think or talk about. Letting him drift off peacefully and resisting the urge to shake him awake again in the vein hope it would keep him with us for just a few minutes longer was probably the hardest thing I will ever have to do.

I know we should treasure happy times and give people the positive spin everyone so craves but an innocent child died, my child, my first born baby, the very person who made my life complete. Tomorrow will just be another day with a gaping hole in our hearts but it is suffocating at times. Skye and others like him do not deserve this, they are just children and for that very reason we WILL fight on trying to make a difference even if it is a drop in the ocean.

Jesse and this new baby will know everything there is to know about their amazing brother. We have laid our child to rest but not his memory - there is a big difference. Please don't stop talking about him to each other and to us.

We miss you so much Boytjie x

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